The immortal king's petty clan-crashing tour

An awakened Immortal King returns to crush his father’s enemies, turning clan revenge into chaotic justice, friendship, and adventure.

Plot

Prologue - the king who forgot he was a king For eighteen years, Arthur had lived an entirely ordinary life. Unfortunately, nobody had informed the universe that he was supposed to remain ordinary. At twenty years old—after spending his childhood being mistaken for a particularly elegant scarecrow—Arthur lived with his parents in a crooked little house at the edge of a mountain village. The roof leaked. The floor creaked. The stove smoked. And their dinner usually consisted of whatever vegetables his mother could afford that week. Arthur had accepted all of this as normal. After all, what else could he do? His father, Bob, was apparently just a weak, middle-aged farmer. His mother worked herself exhausted keeping the household running. And Arthur? Arthur was extremely talented at being mediocre. He couldn't cultivate. He couldn't hunt. He couldn't fight. He couldn't even carry two sacks of rice without dramatically reconsidering his life choices. Yet there was one strange thing about him. Arthur always had impeccable posture. Even while eating instant noodles. Even while sleeping. Even while falling down stairs. His mother had once remarked: "Arthur, you stand like you're waiting for an entire kingdom to bow before you." Arthur had laughed. He had no idea how accurate she was. Because twenty years ago, before his memories disappeared, Arthur had been something else entirely. He had been— The Immortal King. A being who had crossed countless worlds. A ruler who had destroyed divine armies. A cultivator who had stared into the void and told it to stop being annoying. And on his twentieth birthday... He remembered everything. Chapter 1 — Memory Cache: 100% Arthur was eating breakfast when reality broke. His spoon stopped halfway to his mouth. His pupils contracted. A strange golden symbol appeared inside his mind. [MEMORY CACHE UNLOCKED] [Previous Identity: Immortal King Arthur] [Status: Sealed] [Memory Restoration: 100%] Arthur dropped his spoon. "Oh." His mother looked up from the stove. "Arthur?" Arthur didn't answer. Millions of memories exploded through his consciousness. Ancient battles. Floating cities. Dead gods. Forbidden techniques. Treasures worth more than entire kingdoms. Thousands of years of cultivation. And one particularly embarrassing memory of him accidentally destroying an entire mountain because someone stole his dessert. Arthur slowly covered his face. "...I remember." His mother frowned. "Remember what?" Arthur looked toward the ceiling. "I used to be incredibly annoying." His mother sighed. "That part hasn't changed." Arthur blinked. Then he laughed. A deep, ancient laugh. The kind that suggested someone had just remembered he once owned the universe. "Mother." "What?" "I was an Immortal King." She stared at him. Arthur stared back. Bob, sitting quietly in the corner, slowly lowered his cup. For the first time in years, there was fear in his eyes. Because Bob knew. He had always known something strange was sleeping inside his son. And now... It had awakened. Chapter 2 — The Frostfangs Arrive The front door exploded inward. BOOM! Three men wearing white-and-blue robes marched inside. Their cultivation auras filled the tiny house. The strongest among them slammed his fist onto the table. "Where is Bob?" Arthur looked at him. "Which Bob?" "Your father!" "Oh." Arthur considered this. "He went out." "When?" Arthur scratched his chin. "...Somewhere between twelve years ago and yesterday." The three cultivators stared at him. One of them sighed. "The Frostfang Clan has not forgotten what happened." Arthur's expression changed. His father had rarely spoken about his past. But now the memories were returning. A broken cultivation core. A powerful clan. An arranged marriage. Bob refusing to marry the clan leader's daughter. And the resulting punishment. The Frostfang Clan had destroyed Bob's cultivation. They had taken everything from him. But apparently... They had not finished. The lead cultivator grabbed Arthur's mother. "Since Bob refuses to appear, we'll make him regret hiding." Arthur's smile disappeared. The room became strangely quiet. His mother looked at him. "Arthur..." He stood. Slowly. Very slowly. The wooden floor beneath his feet cracked. A golden light appeared around him. The three cultivators suddenly felt something they couldn't explain. Fear. Arthur looked at the hand holding his mother. "Release her." The cultivator laughed. "Or what?" Arthur's eyes turned golden. "Or I remember who I am." Chapter 3 — The Immortal King's First Tantrum The world went silent. Then— BOOOOOOM! A golden shockwave exploded from Arthur. The roof flew away. The furniture lifted into the air. The three Frostfang cultivators were blasted backward. Their robes disintegrated. Their perfectly styled hair vanished. Their eyebrows disappeared. And somehow... They were left completely bald. Arthur stared at them. "...I may have overdone that." A woman standing outside slowly lowered her dual daggers. She had been watching the entire scene. Her name was Lyra, a wandering bounty hunter in her twenties. She had arrived to collect a debt. Instead, she had discovered an immortal king destroying someone's house. She looked at Arthur. Then at the bald cultivators. Then at the missing roof. "...What exactly did I walk into?" A man suddenly appeared beside her. He was holding a bucket of popcorn. Pip. Arthur's best friend. Pip casually offered Lyra some. "Want popcorn?" Lyra stared at him. "Where did you get that?" "Emergency supplies." "During a clan attack?" "I believe in preparation." Arthur raised one finger. The air trembled. The three cultivators disappeared. A second later, they reappeared inside the Frostfang Clan courtyard. They were wearing ridiculous pink tutus. A large note was attached to each of their backs. YOUR EX SAYS HI. Pip wiped a tear from his eye. "Beautiful." Lyra rubbed her forehead. "You're all insane." Arthur looked at her. "You seem surprisingly calm." "I've hunted demons, bandits, assassins and corrupt nobles." She sheathed her daggers. "But apparently I wasn't prepared for an immortal idiot." Arthur smiled. "Excellent." "For what?" "I'm going to need a guide." Lyra narrowed her eyes. "Guide to where?" Arthur looked toward the distant mountains. "The Frostfang Clan." Pip grinned. "Oh, this is going to be profitable." Chapter 4 — The Road to the Frostfang Estate The journey to the Frostfang mountain estate should have been solemn. It wasn't. Arthur refused to walk. He floated exactly three inches above the road. Lyra stared at him. "You know you can just walk." "I am an Immortal King." "Your feet aren't royalty?" "My feet have standards." Pip rode behind them on a donkey he claimed he had "borrowed indefinitely." He was selling tickets to passing villagers. THE FALL OF THE FROSTFANG CLAN Front-row seats! Lyra eventually snatched the ticket box from him. "You can't sell tickets to someone's downfall before it happens." Pip blinked. "Why not?" Arthur nodded. "Excellent question." Lyra sighed. By sunset, the Frostfang mountains appeared in the distance. Massive stone towers rose between the clouds. Cultivation formations covered the mountain. Thousands of glowing runes surrounded the gates. Arthur stared at them. "Impressive." Lyra smiled. "Finally, you're taking something seriously." Arthur walked toward the gate. "Yes." He raised his pinky. Tap. The enormous steel gate instantly disintegrated into millions of sparkling fragments. Arthur continued walking. "Very impressive." Lyra stared at the remains. "...I hate you." Pip rode through the glitter. "I love him." Chapter 5 — The Worst Family Reunion in History Hundreds of Frostfang disciples gathered in the courtyard. At the center stood Clan Leader Zhao, an elderly cultivation master surrounded by an enormous spiritual aura. Beside him stood his daughter—the woman Bob had once refused to marry. She was now an intimidating middle-aged clan elder with an expression capable of freezing water. Zhao pointed at Arthur. "You!" Arthur yawned. "Me." "Who are you?" Arthur smiled. "Bob's son." The courtyard went silent. Zhao's expression darkened. "That worthless traitor." Arthur's smile vanished. "You shattered my father's cultivation core." Zhao laughed. "He deserved it." Arthur tilted his head. "Interesting." He snapped his fingers. Every weapon in the courtyard instantly pointed toward Zhao. Hundreds of cultivators froze. Arthur continued: "And I remember something else." Zhao's expression changed. "What?" "My father said your daughter couldn't cook." Silence. Pip whispered: "Fatality." Lyra covered her mouth. Zhao's daughter slowly turned purple. "You..." Arthur shrugged. "Apparently the food tasted like wet cardboard." Pip fell off the donkey laughing. Chapter 6 — The Frost Dragon Zhao roared. "ENOUGH!" His cultivation erupted. Clouds twisted above the mountain. Ice covered the courtyard. A massive spiritual dragon emerged from the sky. Its roar shook the entire estate. THE FROST-DRAGON HEAVEN SHATTER STRIKE! The dragon descended toward Arthur. Lyra reached for her daggers. Arthur raised one eyebrow. "That's supposed to impress me?" The dragon opened its jaws. Arthur sighed. "Back in my third millennium, dragons were bath toys." He snapped his fingers. POP. The terrifying ice dragon transformed. Its scales became soft fabric. Its claws became fluffy paws. Its terrifying roar became a squeaky noise. The enormous dragon plushie gently floated downward. BONK. It landed on Zhao's head. Zhao fell backward. Straight into the decorative koi pond. SPLASH! The courtyard became silent. A goldfish swam past Zhao's beard. Pip slowly raised a foam finger. "Ten out of ten." Lyra stared at Arthur. "You defeated an ancient cultivation master with a stuffed animal." Arthur nodded proudly. "I was trying to be merciful." Chapter 7 — A New Era Zhao surrendered. Not because Arthur threatened him. Not because Arthur destroyed the clan. But because Zhao had finally realized something. There was absolutely no way to win. Arthur took control of the estate. Then he did something nobody expected. He opened the gates. The Frostfang Palace became a community center. The enormous guest halls became housing. The training grounds became public gardens. The treasury became a relief fund. And the former clan elders? They learned the ancient art of cleaning toilets. Bob became the estate's administrator. Arthur's mother opened a soup kitchen. Pip opened a gift shop. Lyra became head of security. She claimed it was temporary. Nobody believed her. Epilogue — One Year of Peace One year later, Arthur sat on the roof of the former Frostfang Grand Hall. He wore a hoodie. No royal robes. No crown. No legendary armor. Just an immortal king eating noodles. Lyra landed beside him. She tossed an apple at his head. "Arthur." He caught it. "What?" "There's trouble." Arthur groaned. "Of course there is." "A demon sect three provinces away is preparing to awaken an ancient beast." Arthur stared into the distance. "Why can't ancient civilizations ever leave their sleeping monsters alone?" Pip's head emerged from the roof window. "Did someone say ancient beast?" Arthur nodded. Pip's eyes lit up. "Can we sell merchandise?" Lyra sighed. Arthur stood. Golden light surrounded him. The sky trembled. His eyes became those of the ancient Immortal King once again. He smiled. "Fine." He looked at Lyra. "You driving?" She blinked. "You can fly through dimensions." "I know." Arthur pointed toward the road. "But I'm tired." Pip climbed onto the roof carrying three bags of snacks. "Adventure?" Arthur smiled. "Adventure." Golden light erupted across the mountains. The three disappeared into the horizon. Behind them, a sign hanging above the former Frostfang estate swung gently in the wind: FROSTFANG COMMUNITY CENTER Formerly: Extremely Evil Cultivation Clan Underneath, Pip had added a smaller sign: TOURS AVAILABLE — 20 COINS And somewhere three provinces away... an ancient beast opened one enormous eye. It had no idea what was coming. End of Volume One.

Opening scene

The rain hammered against the crooked roof of Arthur’s tiny home. At twenty years old, Arthur was convinced his life could not get any more ordinary. He was poor, terrible at cultivation, and currently losing a battle against a stubborn sack of rice. “Come on…” He pulled harder. The sack won. Arthur fell backward. His mother sighed from the kitchen. “You really are your father’s son.” Before Arthur could answer, a strange golden notification suddenly appeared inside his mind. [MEMORY CACHE UNLOCKED: 100%] Arthur froze. Thousands of memories flooded his consciousness. Ancient kingdoms. Celestial wars. Forbidden techniques. Gods kneeling before him. And finally— The Immortal King. Arthur slowly stood. “…So that’s why everyone kept calling my posture majestic.” His mother stared at him. “Arthur?” Arthur smiled. “I just remembered who I used to be.” At that exact moment— BOOM! The front door exploded inward. Three armored cultivators stepped into the house. “Where is Bob?” Arthur looked at them. Then at his mother. Then back at the intruders. “…Who?” “The Frostfang Clan has come to collect an old debt.” One cultivator grabbed Arthur’s mother. Arthur’s smile disappeared. A golden light began forming around him. The wooden floor cracked beneath his feet. His eyes slowly turned gold. “You should have left…” The entire house began trembling. “…before I remembered who I was.”

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