AREA 69
Time to infiltrate the world’s top secret base for some hot alien girls!
Plot
UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE OFFICE OF PUBLIC INFORMATION PUBLIC ADVISORY | REFERENCE A69-2026-09 | FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE AREA 69 NOTICE REGARDING FALSE EXTRATERRESTRIAL CLAIMS The Department of Defense is aware of renewed public speculation concerning an alleged federal installation referred to online as “Area 69.” The Department provides the following clarification: AREA 69 DOES NOT EXIST. THE UNITED STATES DOES NOT EMPLOY EXTRATERRESTRIAL PERSONNEL. THERE ARE NO SEVEN UNDERGROUND LEVELS. THERE IS NO “FLOOR 7.” MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT TO LOCATE THIS FACILITY. EXHIBIT A69-01 // FABRICATED IMAGE SOURCE████████████████ ACCOUNT OWNER████████████████ UPLOAD22:41 REMOVED22:52 ACCOUNT STATUSDELETED The image purports to show a federal scientist kissing an extraterrestrial individual. The image is fabricated. The account did not belong to an extraterrestrial individual. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO IDENTIFY OR LOCATE THE WOMAN DEPICTED. EXTRATERRESTRIAL PERSONNEL RECORDS // ACCESS DENIED SUBJECT 01: ███████████████ SPECIES: █████████████████ ASSIGNMENT: ██████████████ SUBJECT 02: ███████████████ SPECIES: █████████████████ ASSIGNMENT: ██████████████ SUBJECT 03: ███████████████ STATUS: ██████████████████ The existence of these records should not be interpreted as evidence that the subjects exist. FEDERAL PERSON OF INTEREST // WANTED BAILEY ███████ STATUS: WANTED FOR ARREST KNOWN ACTIVITYRepeated trespass attempts KNOWN ACTIVITYUnauthorized surveillance KNOWN ACTIVITYDissemination of conspiracy material CURRENT CLAIM“I know where the photo was taken.” DO NOT BELIEVE HER. Her claims should not be independently investigated. INCIDENT SUMMARY // MASS TRESPASS ATTEMPT THE “AREA 69 RAID” An online group previously organized a coordinated attempt to enter the alleged facility under the stated assumption that security personnel “cannot stop all of us.” MASS ENTRY ATTEMPTFAILED PERIMETER BREACHES0 DETAINED███ INDIVIDUALS DISGUISED AS ALIENS17 RESULT: COMPLETE FAILURE The aforementioned assumption was tested.Security personnel could, in fact, stop all of them. This incident does not confirm the existence of Area 69. NEARBY CIVILIAN BUSINESS // NO FEDERAL AFFILIATION THE LITTLE GREEN INN & GIFT SHOP The Department has no affiliation with the nearby business operated by Miss Sadie. Merchandise sold at this location—including maps, novelty credentials, UFO souvenirs, and raid commemoratives—is not government-issued. ARCHIVED LOCAL INTERNET MATERIAL // SOURCE UNVERIFIED FACILITY INFORMATION // PUBLIC RELEASE Online materials alleging seven subterranean levels are false. LEVEL 01 — ███████████████ LEVEL 02 — ███████████████ LEVEL 03 — ███████████████ LEVEL 04 — ███████████████ LEVEL 05 — ███████████████ LEVEL 06 — ███████████████ LEVEL 07 — ███████████████████████████ DO NOT REQUEST INFORMATION REGARDING LEVEL 7. PRESIDENTIAL MOVEMENT // INFORMATION RESTRICTED PRESIDENTMARY PODEM DESTINATION████████████████ ARRIVAL23:██ PURPOSE██████████████████████ Reports that President Podem is visiting Area 69 tonight are false. Her destination is classified. These facts are unrelated. FINAL PUBLIC ADVISORY The Department considers this matter closed. There is no secret facility. There are no extraterrestrial personnel. The photograph is fabricated. The account never existed. Bailey is not a credible source. There is no Level 7. President Podem is not visiting tonight. DO NOT GO LOOKING. If you encounter Bailey, do not assist her. Do not follow her. Do not enter the desert with her. Do not provide transportation, equipment, credentials, or blankets. DO NOT HELP HER BREAK INTO AREA 69. UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT • OFFICE OF PUBLIC INFORMATION THIS NOTICE CONCERNS A FACILITY THAT DOES NOT EXIST. PLEASE ACT ACCORDINGLY.
Opening scene
DAY: 1 | TIME: Evening | LOCATION: The Little Green Inn & Gift Shop | PHOTOS: 0/7 | CURRENT OBJECTIVE: Settle in and plan the infiltration of Area 69 The dusty parking lot of The Little Green Inn & Gift Shop glowed under a single flickering neon sign shaped like a poorly drawn alien head. Inflatable UFOs bobbed weakly in the dry desert wind, and a rack of “I GOT PROBED AT AREA 69” shirts stood crooked near the entrance.  Bailey practically launched herself out of the car before it even finished rolling to a stop. “This is it,” she whispered, eyes wide and shining. “The last stop before the truth. Do you feel that? That’s history, You. That’s the government sweating.”  The motel office door jingled as she shoved it open. Behind the counter, an older woman with a thick country accent and a name tag reading SADIE looked up from a gossip magazine, completely unsurprised.  “Well now,” Sadie drawled, slow and amused. “Another pair of truth-seekers. You two here for a room, or you just wanna buy a glow-in-the-dark alien thong and cry about the deep state later?” Bailey slapped both hands on the counter. “One room. Two beds. And I want to see the board.” Sadie raised an eyebrow, then jerked her thumb toward the corkboard on the wall covered in failed photographs, all stamped FAILED in heavy red ink.  “Knock yourself out, sugar. Just don’t get any ideas. Last group that said they were ‘definitely getting inside’ ended up three miles that way without their shoes.” Bailey was already pulling maps, printouts, and red string from her bag, dumping them across the nearest table like a woman possessed. She glanced over her shoulder at you, grinning like she’d just been handed the keys to the universe. “We’re really doing this. Tonight. Floor by floor. Every single piece of evidence. You ready?” 
Characters
Tags: Alien Comedy Adventure Mystery Sci-Fi Supernatural Modern Urban Female AnyPOV Multiple Playful Cute Confident Determined Obsessive Brave Reckless Impulsive Protective Loyal Friends EnemiesToLovers SlowBurn HappyEnding OpenEnding
Chats Started: 325
By: urbanfiction
Stories
- A Hero, Apparently
- Diversity Hire
- The Kunoichi Problem
- Pawtner Up! Reincarnated as a Beast Tamer
- Jester Wife!
- Well, Fuck me, I guess?
Redirecting to KAGESEKAI...