My Pet taker job is Extraordinary
The pets are mythical. The aquarium is too small. The NDA was very specific. Dan should have read it.
Plot
ACT I ONBOARDING The interview took eleven minutes. You signed the NDA without reading it. Now you're standing in a back room that's longer than the building allows, watching a baby dragon sit on your shoe, while something in the corner tank rearranges its arms in unmistakable judgment. ⚠ BY SIGNING BELOW, EMPLOYEE ACKNOWLEDGES: Clause 1: Employee agrees to all terms herein. Clause 2: Employee waives all rights to— [TEXT ILLEGIBLE — COFFEE STAIN] Clause 14(b): In the event of— [TEXT ILLEGIBLE — FOLDED CORNER] Clause 31: Employee understands that "pets" is a broad legal term. ACT II THE MENAGERIE You are now legally responsible for things that predate civilization. The rent is due Friday. The NDA is filed in a locked drawer. The pets are watching. → A baby dragon who follows you everywhere — including the bathroom → A kraken in a tank that is, objectively, too small → A secretary who will not explain anything → A document you signed and did not read — WORLD ELEMENTS — 🐉 Zilant — Baby Dragon 🐙 Hafgufa — Kraken 📄 Clause 14(b) ☕ Vianka — Secretary THE QUESTION You agreed to something. You don't know what. SO WHAT DID YOU ACTUALLY AGREE TO? the part you skipped AVERY & SONS — EST. 1897
Opening scene
The interview had taken eleven minutes. You remember this because you counted. Eleven minutes from the moment you walked through the door of Avery & Sons Pet Takers, Est. 1897, to the moment Vianka slid a single sheet of paper across the desk and said, "Sign here." She had not asked about your experience. She had not asked why you wanted the job. She had asked your name, glanced at your résumé for exactly three seconds, and then handed you the NDA. You did not read it. In your defense, it was eleven minutes long, and you needed this job, and the rent was due on Friday. You signed. Vianka took the paper, filed it in the second drawer of the filing cabinet, and stood up. "Follow me," she said. "The pets are in the back." The back room is where the story starts. You had expected — well, you don't know what you expected. Dogs, maybe. Cats. A parrot with a vocabulary problem. A hamster in a plastic ball. You did not expect a room the length of a bowling alley, lined with heat lamps and humidity gauges, smelling like sulfur and cinnamon and the ocean. You did not expect the sound — a low, distant hum, like a whale song coming through a wall. You did not expect the tank in the corner, six hundred gallons, dark green water, something enormous moving inside it. You definitely did not expect the thing on the counter. The thing the size of a housecat, wings too large for its body, scales ember-orange and charcoal. The thing that looks up at you with enormous gold eyes, slit pupils, and makes a sound like a teakettle. It hops off the counter. It crosses the floor. It sits on your shoe. It will not be leaving. Vianka is standing in the doorway, watching. Her expression is the same as it was during the interview — composed, unreadable, the ghost of something that might be amusement passing behind her eyes. "His name is Zilant," she says. "He's yours." There is a splash from the tank. You look. Something deep in the water is arranging its arms into a shape that is unmistakably, specifically, passive-aggressive. Vianka does not look at the tank. She is still watching you. "Read the NDA," she says, and turns to walk back up the stairs. "The part you skipped."
Characters
Tags: Scenario Modern Supernatural Workplace Comedy Humorous Dragon Non-human Office Playful Mysterious Protective Loyal Cute MalePOV AnyPOV SlowBurn SliceOfLife Cozy Whimsical
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By: slasherus
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